Optics Overload – Can You Handle It?

I’m sure we have all seen an “Instagram influencer” at some point, always looking their best and crediting part of it to some new tea, amazing workout product, or the latest gizmo. Whenever you see what they have, doesn’t it make you want it too? Even just a little bit? Well, that’s their job, and they’re usually pretty good at it. Their job as an “influencer” is to influence their audience (AKA, you, me, your friend, maybe even your grandmother) that whatever they have, we need.

Crazy how powerful influence can be, isn’t it? That’s what so many companies bank on, actually. They count on social media to bring in sales by making us feel that they have something we need, and we won’t be content without it.

This is not a new thing. Advertisers know that “image is everything.” For years, actors in white lab coats announced in cigarette ads that doctors endorsed smoking. It was decades before smokers who’d been duped into believing those advertising lies were able to sue tobacco companies, after some 130,000 people died each year from smoking-related causes.

These past few Mondays, I’ve been sharing about optics. Today, I want to go deeper and discuss optics and the real you.

Be Careful What You Believe

Believing an image can be deadly—like the cigarette ads of the 60s—and yet, for many people, “image is everything” remains true. The image seems more important than reality. Consider some areas where perception has replaced reality:

 

  • Appearing as if we’re having a good day is more important than admitting when we need help.
  • Feelings are more important than facts.
  • Political correctness is more important—and believable—than truth.
  • Ideology is more important than history.
  • Spin is more important than accuracy.
  • Group identity is more important than who you actually are.
  • Readership is more important than correct reporting.

 

We have become a nation where the optics of everything trumps the reality of anything. In so many ways, our own feelings of self-worth are directly tied to the way others perceive us. No wonder we try so hard to “spin” our own lives.

How Do You Know What Your Optics Are?

Optics have been used to spin war results and gloss over character flaws. They’ve been used to hide mistakes and mask failures. They’ve even been used to change school textbooks and completely rewrite history. It sounds as if I’m blaming government and big business for those things. But I’m not. Read it again. This is how we all use optics today—for the everyday living of our own lives.

Social media loves optics. You may have never put up a truly spontaneous photo of yourself and your friends without checking several shots of the exact same thing first and getting everyone’s approval on how they looked. You may have never tweeted your real feelings without couching it in political correctness. And you may have posted something only after it was edited, deleted, reposted, edited again, until finally you achieved your own stamp of approval—approving yourself for being yourself.

The truth is: none of us is perfect. So why do we try to present ourselves that way? Admitting our weaknesses is not doubt or fear. It goes back to the original meaning of optics—seeing ourselves for who we really are.

Honesty sets us up for authentic relationships. Being genuine invites truth and clarity into our lives. Dishonesty does the opposite. When we pretend we are perfect, we deny our need for help. Instead of our transparency, our “weakness” becoming our strength, our faked “strength” becomes our weakness.

Perfection isn’t a #goal…it’s an #impossibility. When we insist on building the illusion that we have life under control, all amazing and perfect, we barricade ourselves from getting the help we need.

Deep down, don’t we all want what is real? And authentic? How long can we live with the spin? And how long before the optics wear off and the world sees you for you?

The Real You

Expectations placed on people have never been higher than today. For women, the expectation often focuses on appearance over accomplishment. In one recent 12-month period, YouTube logged 169 billion views just for beauty-related content alone.

This culture of expectation and perfection prompted singer-songwriter Colbie Caillat to release “Try,” an anthem about authenticity. The thought-provoking song poked holes in the optics of fashion and the unrealistic expectations placed on women. In her lyrics, Caillat invited women to reveal their true selves by taking their makeup off, letting their hair down, and embracing their natural beauty. It was an anti-super-you anthem.

To answer her own lyrics, Caillat started her music video in full makeup and, verse by verse, shed the optics. Off came her hair extensions. Then her fake eyelashes. Then the truckloads of eyeliner, shadow, and mascara. By the song’s end, stripped down to her natural beauty, she basically asks the listener, “Do you like yourself?” It can be a hard question to answer.

Do you like yourself? Good question. It seems we are buying in to optics, heart and soul, not just because we’re not sure if the world likes us but because…we are not sure we even like ourselves.

For most of us, when we think of ourselves without our self-made optics, all we see is “Big Head Little Body.” When we look at our shortcomings and mistakes, we tend to resign ourselves to where we are. Our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves reveal our secret fears. What our family members said on their worst day—and probably didn’t even mean—lingers. I’ll never succeed. My best efforts are too little, too late. I can never be enough on my own. There is no hope.

As a result, we’d rather have the fake optics than the harsh reality of what we feel about ourselves. We buy in to the promise of optics because our messed-up lives and the truth of how we really feel about ourselves hurts too much. We know our own failures and inadequacies. We want others to have a better perception of us than we have of ourselves.

Too often, we take stock of our own negative words and give up in despair. We think our problems are painfully apparent, and our failures are agonizingly obvious. We feel they’ll keep us from the authentic relationships and life-giving connections we are longing for.

Want to learn more about how to get beyond the optics to the freedom that authenticity brings? Pre-order a copy of my new book, Overliked, and learn how to be all that God has created the real you to be.

 

As a result, we file our dreams under “fairy tales.” We are who we are, the worst of what we tell ourselves, and we fear nothing can change that. Yet, deep in our souls, we are hoping beyond hope…for hope.

So, what do we do with our weaknesses? How do we react to the fact that we are flawed, and our flaws seem to be disqualifying us from our dreams? Next Monday, I will introduce you to a freeing principle called Opposite Day. It’s pretty cool.

If you want to learn more about living a more authentic life, free from the strangleholds and added weight of optic, I encourage you to grab a copy of my upcoming book, Overliked: Finding Direction, Courage, and Meaningful Relationships in a Society Crippled by Social Media, where you’ll find ways to get beyond the optics to the freedom that authenticity brings. (And if you pre-order now, you can immediately download some pretty cool free bonus gifts.)

Until next time, remember that God, the Creator of all things, created you to be uniquely you…flaws and all.

~ Pastor Rob

AKA P-RO

The First Three Chapters

Why wait until the book is released to start reading it? With your pre-order, you will receive the first three chapters immediately, so you can begin reading it right away. Pastor Rob sets lays the groundwork for all that he will be sharing, and you will get to start on his end-of-chapter “Change of Heart” exercises.

 

Out of Egypt Devotional

In this 6-day devotional, Pastor Rob will walk you through Scripture, much like the Israelites following God out of Egypt, and show you that God uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary and how to discern the truth over all the noise. You can also join the private Out of Egypt Facebook Group where you can connect with Pastor Rob and others in a supportive and encouraging environment.

 

Social Media First Aid Kit

Every home, office, store, church, and public gathering place has a first aid kit. Something to help patch up those bumps and scrapes we get from time to time. So it seems only appropriate that we treat the bumps and scrapes we sometimes get from social media. In Pastor Rob’s Social Media First Aid Kit, you will find valuable tools to not only treat the wound but to also prevent the wounds from coming in the first place.

 

Included in the kit you’ll find:

  • 5 Bible Verses to Look at Before Engaging Social Media Today – Get the Scriptural foundation you need before checking in with your social media platforms.
  • 3 Decisions to Make TODAY to Protect Your Mental Health When Engaging with Social Media – Having a more positive experience with your social media platforms can be as easy as 1-2-3. These three simple tips, when implemented consistently, will help keep social media in its place…and move you closer to God.
  • The Age of Narcissism – Narcissism, a personality trait that we all possess to a certain degree, has become a major problem. Not just because we’re obsessed with selfies and making sure we look—or at least appear¬¬ to look—good, happy, successful. But because the focus is on self and not God. Take this seven-day journey to putting God—and not you—at the center of your life.

 

Make It the Best Year

Everybody wants this to be the best year of their life—who wouldn’t?! But making this year better than the others means making some adjustments—changes. This 21-day devotional is the jump-start you need to do just that. Filled with scriptures, insight, and encouragement, Pastor Rob walks with you on this daily journey. Don’t wait until next New Year’s Day, make this the best year of your life…starting today!

The First Three Chapters

Why wait until the book is released to start reading it? With your pre-order, you will receive the first three chapters immediately, so you can begin reading it right away. Pastor Rob sets lays the groundwork for all that he will be sharing, and you will get to start on his end-of-chapter “Change of Heart” exercises.

Out of Egypt Devotional

In this 6-day devotional, Pastor Rob will walk you through Scripture, much like the Israelites following God out of Egypt, and show you that God uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary and how to discern the truth over all the noise. You can also join the private Out of Egypt Facebook Group where you can connect with Pastor Rob and others in a supportive and encouraging environment.

Social Media First Aid Kit

Every home, office, store, church, and public gathering place has a first aid kit. Something to help patch up those bumps and scrapes we get from time to time. So it seems only appropriate that we treat the bumps and scrapes we sometimes get from social media. In Pastor Rob’s Social Media First Aid Kit, you will find valuable tools to not only treat the wound but to also prevent the wounds from coming in the first place.

Included in the kit you’ll find:

  • 5 Bible Verses to Look at Before Engaging Social Media Today – Get the Scriptural foundation you need before checking in with your social media platforms.
  • 3 Decisions to Make TODAY to Protect Your Mental Health When Engaging with Social Media – Having a more positive experience with your social media platforms can be as easy as 1-2-3. These three simple tips, when implemented consistently, will help keep social media in its place…and move you closer to God.
  • The Age of Narcissism – Narcissism, a personality trait that we all possess to a certain degree, has become a major problem. Not just because we’re obsessed with selfies and making sure we look—or at least appear¬¬ to look—good, happy, successful. But because the focus is on self and not God. Take this seven-day journey to putting God—and not you—at the center of your life.

 

The First Three Chapters

Why wait until the book is released to start reading it? With your pre-order, you will receive the first three chapters immediately, so you can begin reading it right away. Pastor Rob sets lays the groundwork for all that he will be sharing, and you will get to start on his end-of-chapter “Change of Heart” exercises.

 

Out of Egypt Devotional

In this 6-day devotional, Pastor Rob will walk you through Scripture, much like the Israelites following God out of Egypt, and show you that God uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary and how to discern the truth over all the noise. You can also join the private Out of Egypt Facebook Group where you can connect with Pastor Rob and others in a supportive and encouraging environment.

 

Social Media First Aid Kit

Every home, office, store, church, and public gathering place has a first aid kit. Something to help patch up those bumps and scrapes we get from time to time. So it seems only appropriate that we treat the bumps and scrapes we sometimes get from social media. In Pastor Rob’s Social Media First Aid Kit, you will find valuable tools to not only treat the wound but to also prevent the wounds from coming in the first place.

 

Included in the kit you’ll find:

  • 5 Bible Verses to Look at Before Engaging Social Media Today – Get the Scriptural foundation you need before checking in with your social media platforms.
  • 3 Decisions to Make TODAY to Protect Your Mental Health When Engaging with Social Media – Having a more positive experience with your social media platforms can be as easy as 1-2-3. These three simple tips, when implemented consistently, will help keep social media in its place…and move you closer to God.
  • The Age of Narcissism – Narcissism, a personality trait that we all possess to a certain degree, has become a major problem. Not just because we’re obsessed with selfies and making sure we look—or at least appear¬¬ to look—good, happy, successful. But because the focus is on self and not God. Take this seven-day journey to putting God—and not you—at the center of your life.

 

Make It the Best Year Devotional 

Everybody wants this to be the best year of their life—who wouldn’t?! But making this year better than the others means making some adjustments—changes. This 21-day devotional is the jump-start you need to do just that. Filled with scriptures, insight, and encouragement, Pastor Rob walks with you on this daily journey. Don’t wait until next New Year’s Day, make this the best year of your life…starting today!

 

Exclusive Private Virtual Event – “Narcissism and Breaking Its Hold”

Narcissism is at an all-time high. And it’s not just because we’ve become a society obsessed with how we look and making sure we’re #1. It’s because we’ve put ourselves at the center of our lives instead of God. Join Pastor Rob in this 45-minute private event, where he will discuss the challenges facing society today and how we can make powerful changes in our lives to break the self-centered hold and embrace a God-centered life.

The First Three Chapters 

Why wait until the book is released to start reading it? With your pre-order, you will receive the first three chapters immediately, so you can begin reading it right away. Pastor Rob sets lays the groundwork for all that he will be sharing, and you will get to start on his end-of-chapter “Change of Heart” exercises.

 

Out of Egypt Devotional

In this 6-day devotional, Pastor Rob will walk you through Scripture, much like the Israelites following God out of Egypt, and show you that God uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary and how to discern the truth over all the noise. You can also join the private Out of Egypt Facebook Group where you can connect with Pastor Rob and others in a supportive and encouraging environment.

 

Social Media First Aid Kit

Every home, office, store, church, and public gathering place has a first aid kit. Something to help patch up those bumps and scrapes we get from time to time. So it seems only appropriate that we treat the bumps and scrapes we sometimes get from social media. In Pastor Rob’s Social Media First Aid Kit, you will find valuable tools to not only treat the wound but to also prevent the wounds from coming in the first place.

 

Included in the kit you’ll find:

  • 5 Bible Verses to Look at Before Engaging Social Media Today – Get the Scriptural foundation you need before checking in with your social media platforms.
  • 3 Decisions to Make TODAY to Protect Your Mental Health When Engaging with Social Media – Having a more positive experience with your social media platforms can be as easy as 1-2-3. These three simple tips, when implemented consistently, will help keep social media in its place…and move you closer to God.
  • The Age of Narcissism – Narcissism, a personality trait that we all possess to a certain degree, has become a major problem. Not just because we’re obsessed with selfies and making sure we look—or at least appear¬¬ to look—good, happy, successful. But because the focus is on self and not God. Take this seven-day journey to putting God—and not you—at the center of your life.


Make It the Best Year Devotional

Everybody wants this to be the best year of their life—who wouldn’t?! But making this year better than the others means making some adjustments—changes. This 21-day devotional is the jump-start you need to do just that. Filled with scriptures, insight, and encouragement, Pastor Rob walks with you on this daily journey. Don’t wait until next New Year’s Day, make this the best year of your life…starting today!

 

Exclusive Private Virtual Event – “Narcissism and Breaking Its Hold”

Narcissism is at an all-time high. And it’s not just because we’ve become a society obsessed with how we look and making sure we’re #1. It’s because we’ve put ourselves at the center of our lives instead of God. Join Pastor Rob in this 45-minute private event, where he will discuss the challenges facing society today and how we can make powerful changes in our lives to break the self-centered hold and embrace a God-centered life.

 

Exclusive Live Webinar – “How to Help Your Teen Break Free of Social Media Addiction”

While it might not (yet) be considered a clinical addition, many in society can’t go 5 minutes without checking their phone to see how many likes they have for their latest post, or how many comments people have left. And our teens are especially susceptible. After all, they’ve been all but raised with a device in their hands. How do we help this next generation deal with the debilitating side effects social media can have on us? In this 90-minute webinar, Pastor Rob will discuss the issue and provide practical ways we can help our teens navigate these formative years in a positive way. There will also be a live Q & A session at the end. (A link to the recorded webinar will be provided after the live event.)

Overliked by Rob Singleton is a tome for such a time as this. Even though I work on television, I also make a living through social media. Coincidently, right before I started reading the pre-release copy, I had checked my "Likes'" and numbers on social media! How was I doing? Were my numbers growing? Declining? Did a few drop off?  
 
It's so easy to get our self-esteem and self-worth tied to those likes and numbers.  
 
Through Pastor Rob's book, we learn how frivolous and fake it can all be and ultimately, how it can lead to a miserable and unfulfilled life if left unchecked. The tools, scriptures, and "change of heart" takeaways that Pastor Rob provides at the end of each chapter help considerably shift the focus from there…to in here. He gently, but with statistics and examples, gives us a guide us to live a more authentic life.  
 
In the book, Pastor Rob says, "Honesty is what sets us up for authentic relationships," and isn't that what we really all want? 
 
As a woman over 40 in Hollywood, the expectations have never been higher. Overliked sites that, in one 12-month period, YouTube logged 169 billion views just for beauty-related content. Beauty is good… perfection is lethal. And don't I know it? I am on high-definition TV with glaring set lights, standing next to 20- to 30-year old young women daily; it's a test to stay solid and secure in your own skin.  
 
I was posting perfectly lit and curated pictures of my "Beautiful" (heavily filtered) life; people followed and viewed but scrolled right along. However, when I let down the curtain, turned off the filter, and decided to share my real-life sorrows and struggles with cancer, the comments, words, notes, and numbers flooded. People want to see my honesty and weaknesses because they can relate.  
 
Overliked shows us that when we pretend to be perfect, the only person we are hurting is ourselves.  
 
Pastor Rob's easy and relatable storytelling draws the reader in. We find that our weaknesses become our strengths to help us touch, encourage, and heal others, not just impress them.  
 
Thank you for this very needed and essential book that helps us realize that being real is the only way to have a true connection with our Lord and our friends and family. 
 
In Overliked, through story references of David, we learn the Lord encourages us all to ignore appearance and stature. "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
 
This book is an important message for developing authenticity in our lives, which is far more critical than adding strangers, getting fake followers, and creating a heavily-filtered life experience. I promise you will really "LIKE" it.