I’ve spent the last “many” Mondays sharing with you about social media and the issues plaguing our society with regards to where we find our self-worth and what’s holding us back from having the authentic relationships God wants us to have. And while social media may be a fuel for the level of narcissism our culture is experiencing, it certainly isn’t the first time this has happened.
Today, I’d like to share a story with you about a man who lived roughly 1800 years ago. His name…Augustine.
Augustine – The Player
Augustine was focused on his self-centered life. Raised by a God-fearing mother and a pagan dad, loving God and others was just about the last thing on his list. His dad’s style fit him more. As soon as he was able, he left home to fulfill his heart’s greatest desires. A Roman citizen and philosopher, he was looking for success and prestige. He wanted “followers.”
He was a social climber and a player when it came to the ladies. Fear of what others would think of him kept him from marrying his longtime concubine, the mother of his son. She was of a lower class. It would have ruined his optics.
The problem was, good optics or not, Augustine felt empty inside. He was ruled by his passions. He struggled with good choices. He kept switching philosophies. He was confused and desperate. He wasn’t the man he wanted to be. He said, “I looked for pleasure, beauty, and truth not in Him but in myself and His other creatures, and the search led me instead to pain, confusion, and error.”
The Same Now as It Was Then
Narcissism, fake relationships, and self-centered choices hadn’t brought him the fulfillment he had longed for. It’s funny, isn’t it, that even though Augustine lived in 300 AD, his problems sound very much like problems many of us face today?
One night, Augustine experienced the crazy love of Jesus. He felt compelled to pick up the apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans. It read, “Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.”
Those words pinned Augustine to the wall. Paul’s words seemed to apply directly to him. Wild parties? Casual sex? Drunkenness? Those were his go-tos.
But Jesus loved Augustine (just as He loves you). He had more for Augustine than shallow relationships and self-centered living. He wanted to shape Augustine in His image.
Like the woman at the well, Jesus was inviting Augustine to live a different life—a life full of hope and love. Jesus cracked Augustine’s heart wide open in what was actually an agape intervention, drawing on the type of love that is unconditional and divine. Augustine changed into a man “after God’s own heart.” God helped him go Opposite Day on the optics.
Augustine’s life shifted from self-focused to God-centered. He described his change of heart, saying,
“To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek Him the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest human achievement.”
Saint Augustine of Hippo went through a love reboot. That love relationship with God and others spilled over into his life’s work. He was a changed man. He went from being a party boy in pursuit of followers to a God-lover pursuing authentic connection with God and others.
Saint Augustine’s writings still shape Christian life to this day. His was definitely a life repurposed by love.
Your Love Reboot
Like Augustine, we have a unique opportunity for a love reboot. God commands us to love Him and love others. Why do you think that is? Because we are made for love.
Love isn’t just a feeling, as we’ve seen. Love is an action. When we move into a new season of loving God and others, we will make a commitment to recenter our lives around Him instead of ourselves.
As a marriage counselor, I see the effect that inaction has on relationships. In the busyness of life, people get disconnected. Their relationships unravel. They come into my office and are so far apart it’s like they are sitting on the world’s largest sofa. The distance between them is physical and emotional until I start asking them questions. You can see their minds start to filter back through those times of connection. They start remembering the fun and the joy. They start telling the story of how they met and fell in love. And before you know it, they’re sitting close to each other. The world’s biggest couch becomes a love seat. It is a love reboot. Love takes action. Intentional time spent together. Serving each other. Hanging out. These moments of togetherness solidify the bonds between spouses.
Our relationship with God is no different. Love requires action. We are wholly loved by God. Because of that, we respond to Him, spend time with Him, and talk to Him. We read His words of love. Those actions are what solidify our relationship.
So, How Do You Get Over Selfitis?
If changing the optics of your life over and over again is not filling that longing inside for something more, then that longing cannot be satisfied cosmetically. You must move beyond the optics.
It’s my hope that, over these last many Mondays, you’ve seen the challenges of chasing after “likes” and other forms of approval for validation. My prayer is that it has stirred something in you…to take a closer look, not only at your relationship with social media but your relationship with God and others. I hope it has awakened a desire to want authentic relationships and to look for your self-worth in God, not in likes.
It’s your turn to live a life with no regrets.
You are God’s masterpiece. Seeing yourself as God sees you means looking at the value He places on you for the beauty inside of you.
You have value because of who He is, not because of what you look like, what you do for a living, who you know, what car you drive, or how expensive your shoes are.
Seeing yourself as God sees you is actually giving praise to Him because it means you see the beauty in his most precious creation…you!
When you look in the mirror, what you see looking back is a daughter or son of the King eternal. You are a child of the King, made in the image of God Himself.
You were made for authenticity. You were made for wholeness. You were made for true relationship. You were made to unleash God’s amazing, crazy love on the world around you.
If this is striking a chord with you and you want to learn more, I invite you to read my recently released bestselling book, Overliked: Finding Direction, Courage, and Meaningful Relationships in a Society Crippled by Social Media. In it, you will find a 21-day love reboot that will get you on your way to living the authentic life you were meant to live.
Until next time, Peace!
~Pastor Rob
Aka, P-Ro