What is the strongest muscle in the body? Some would say that it’s the tongue. We read in Proverbs 18:21 that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” That’s pretty powerful. Your words have the ability to give life or cause death.
So why aren’t we more careful about the words we choose to use? I think there are at least 10 things that Christians just need to stop saying. Here are the first five of my top 10 things we should stop saying…in no particular order…
#1 – “Everything happens for a reason.”
So things like hurricanes, AIDS, crack babies, and cancer all happen for a reason? I don’t buy that, and it definitely is not in the Bible. The truth is, in this fallen world, bad things happen as a direct result of “the fall,” or more specifically, the fallen nature of mankind.
Trivializing the sin and pain of this fallen world by implying that even bad stuff is a part of God’s recipe for a holy stew He’s cooking up is just plain wrong. But it’s an easy mistake to make when we read scriptures like 1 Corinthians 15:25-26, “For [Christ] must reign until he humbles all his enemies beneath his feet. And the last enemy to be destroyed is death.” He wins, even over death, our darkest, most relentless foe. And since Christians are with Him, we win in the end too.
Also, consider how such a pithy phrase sounds to someone who’s gone through something horrific. Do you really need to tell them there’s a reason that happened? A godly reason? Better to be quiet, listen, and, if appropriate, mourn alongside, but don’t dismiss grief or tragedy with such a meaningless phrase like everything happens for a reason. No, it just doesn’t. Evil has no reason.
#2 – “Good Luck!”
I believe if you asked 100 people about the statement, all of them would say it’s no big deal. But it actually is. It’s not a good idea to give “luck” credit when good things happen. Our blessings come from God and not from luck. James 1:17 tells us, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
As believers in Christ Jesus, we must not rely on luck or mere chance. Our confidence must be in God. So, instead of saying, good luck, why not take the opportunity to pray for whoever you’re with, or to say something like, “May God bless your plans.” Praying for God’s blessing is undoubtedly more powerful than wishing them luck.
#3 – “I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.”
Agreeing to disagree might be fine when things get heated up around the Thanksgiving table when odd ol’ Uncle Harry wants to argue Flat Earth theory. After all, you’re celebrating family, our nation, and God’s provision, and you’re not going to let that one strange uncle, whom you usually don’t see until Thanksgiving, disrupt the whole thing.
However, when talking about Jesus being the way, the truth, and the life, or subjects like salvation, marriage, or taking innocent life with abortion, agreeing to just disagree or just table the discussion never leaves the topic on the table like you think. Instead, it crawls off the table of tolerance and into the halls of legislation. And before we know it, marriage is marginalized, and the killing of babies is legalized.
So the problem with agreeing to disagree is that it points to an unspoken agreement to leave things as they are and not tamper with them—at least for a period of time. And you know what; this never happens. What does happen is that the discussion is placed on a slippery slope that cannot stay where it is. It slips further and further downhill and away from the way God intended to be.
So agreeing to disagree is tantamount to putting your head in the sand. The problem with this is that, when we reemerge, the world has always changed.
#4 – “He/She is in a better place.”
Well, this may or may not be true. Again we have no real way of knowing. We may believe it, but to speak with such authority about something we don’t actually know is arrogant. Plus, focusing on the passing of a loved one minimizes the grief of the people they left behind. No more really needs to be said here.
#5 – “If you have enough faith, you’ll be healed.”
Wow, this one’s done so much damage. I’ve known many people who had great faith and weren’t healed. If non-believers die a horrible disease, Christians say they didn’t have faith enough to be healed. If believers die of a horrible disease, Christians say that God healed them completely and took them home because He needed them in heaven, or He needed another angel to play harps or other trivial ways of putting something so serious.
Several times in Scripture, Jesus healed people who exercised absolutely no faith whatsoever. Healing is never guaranteed or connected to how much faith we can white-knuckle for. No. Just No on this one.
But proponents persist in pointing to numerous examples in Scripture where healing took place, including:
- “By his wounds, we are healed.”
- “God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Because God has healed in the past, He has to do it today.
Well, with this thought, the key to healing is our faith (there’s that connection again). If we have enough faith, we can be healed. For many, I think this idea probably comes from good intentions. And the Bible often uses the picture of healing to explain salvation. The death of Christ on the cross healed our sin-sick souls. By His wounds our sin-sick souls can be healed, but we may or may not be healed from cancer or diabetes or heart disease.
The greatest proof that God has not made healing available to all people, at every time in life, is the life of the Apostle Paul.
- In Acts 14, Paul heals a crippled man in Lystra.
- In Acts 16, he heals a demon-possessed woman.
- In Acts 19, he healed many in Ephesus.
- In Acts 20, he raised Eutychus from the dead.
Kevin A. Thompson, on the website of the same name, handles this really well when he says, “The greatest proof that God doesn’t always do this is, for example, Timothy. He had an upset stomach, and Paul told him to just take some wine for it. When Epaphroditus was sick, Paul couldn’t heal, and three times Paul prayed for his own condition, but to no avail.” If healing is available to everyone, and we just need enough faith to experience it, why couldn’t he heal Timothy, Epaphroditus, or even himself? Why does everyone eventually die? Do they just run out of faith?
This “faith” statement is a trivial response when people are facing such serious things. God has not left the outcome of healing in our hands if we just have enough faith.
Well, that’s it for today. Come back next week, and I’ll share five more things that Christians should just stop saying. Until then, be sure to check out my video series, “Ask P-Ro” on my YouTube channel, where I share on topics like this and others every week. I’d love to know what you think!
Until next time, watch your words, and speak life!
~Pastor Rob
aka, “P-Ro”